People often start therapy with a commitment to change. Maybe they’ve had a lot of bad stuff happen to them – stuff that’s not their fault – and so they want to change how they deal with that bad stuff, work out new ways to cope. Makes sense – doesn’t it? People go through immense changes in their lives – house moves, new jobs, broken relationships, bereavements, illness, exams, you name it. And all changes tire us out... even positive changes. So when you start therapy – do

Something weird has happened in the last few decades: the buffer between the human mind and the rest of the world has all but vanished. Your phone – next to your bed, or in your pocket wherever you are – can bring you right up to speed with all the world’s wars and disasters, and with a single touch you can have instant access to other people’s traumas and fears. All of it: billions of voices at your fingertips, crying out for your attention 24/7. Wow. I’m not daft: I know th

There’s a lot of words out there… and we need words, to tell stories. As adults, we leave childish things behind us, including stories; so our words sometimes become merely instructional, explanatory, rational, adrift from the fulness of life… Sure, we use words for lots of reasons – liberating, nurturing, or terrifying reasons – but words have only one purpose that is truly sacred: to tell stories, fictional or true. We need words to tell stories, so we can understand each o

When life seems like a huge mountain to climb, what gets you to the summit and beyond? Resilience? Willpower? Strength of character? There’s an idea out there that resilience is something ‘inside a person’ – a supply of energy that you can draw from when life gets rough. Social media is full of psychological tricks that promise greater resilience – the mental equivalent of lifting weights, to make your mind as strong as your body. Influencers tell us that resilience is all ab

This is a post about saying ‘hello’. So, hello! As a way of introduction, here is a picture of me (about to head off to Cub Scouts and looking seriously chuffed about it). Now - WAS this me; or IS this me? Have I really changed since then? Or am I still the same person, deep-down? How much of what I do today is tangled up with the hopes and fears of that little lad? Let me tell you about this kid. He did alright at school, knew the difference between right and wrong, liked t