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People often start therapy with a commitment to change. Maybe they’ve had a lot of bad stuff happen to them – stuff that’s not their fault – and so they want to change how they deal with that bad stuff, work out new ways to cope. Makes sense – doesn’t it?

People go through immense changes in their lives – house moves, new jobs, broken relationships, bereavements, illness, exams, you name it. And all changes tire us out... even positive changes.

So when you start therapy – do you want even more change? It's kinda what's expected, right?

Life isn't just about big changes... there's all the little ones, every day, when we do our best to fit in. Like squished passengers on a rush-hour tube train, we take what space we can find and fold ourselves into it, even it feels desperately uncomfortable. We make ourselves smaller, more convenient. And sometimes, we go to therapy sessions so we can fit in – to change ourselves so we can get on, blend in, not be noticed, survive, be normal, be better.

Good therapy is not necessarily about change, though. It's more about self-discovery – getting to know and trust who you already are – so you can cope with the changes life throws at you.

Good therapy helps you feel at home in yourself.

What does that mean?

Imagine a place or a time where you discover the shape you’re meant to be… stretching into the space you need… where you belong because you’re you. Imagine a space for you in the world, with plenty of wriggle-room… a space where you can make mistakes and that’s alright – in fact, the mistakes are fun, are welcome, are a vital part of being alive. It might not be the outcome others expect of you; it might exist beyond tired old definitions of success; but when you find your place, your home, nothing will stop you being there.

Your body and mind know, instinctively, where you are at your best… where you feel at home in yourself. That feeling, that self-trust, is already there in you, waiting to be discovered. All you have to do is listen. Perhaps you can remember times in your life when you’ve thought: yes, this is it; this is where I truly thrive; I’ve been trying to be a duckling but I've been a swan all this time; this is Me.

And yet, for most of our lives, we fold ‘Me’ into a suitcase and carry it around, trying to work out where we can fit in – when we’re carrying the answer in our own hands. That suitcase feels heavy and awkward while you’re lugging it about from place to place. It even hurts. So... put it down. Open it up. Take yourself out, and move into the day.

Do you feel like you’re never at home anywhere? Like you’re looking at the world from outside, smiling politely but numb to everything? Do you want to feel alive: to live from your heart as well as your head? Have a confidential chat with a counsellor, and start to unpack some stuff. Speak what you’ve been unable to speak. Unpack your suitcase, unfold yourself, move into the day!